30 Days: Day 13: Five Weaknesses

Describe 5 weaknesses you have.

1. Completing all of my goals. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a very driven person. But sometimes I just can’t accomplish all of the things I set out to do. Maybe because I set too many goals at one time and when I can’t complete them I give up. I think in order to help me with this I need to set smaller goals and less of them at one time so I don’t feel overwhelmed.

2. Letting others help me. I’m a stubborn person with an “I can do it myself” attitude. Some people wouldn’t see this as a weakness. What’s wrong with being independent? Nothing. Being independent is great! But we aren’t Superman and we need others in our lives. There’s nothing wrong with getting help. Even though I know this I still have a problem letting others help me. Maybe it’s a pride thing or maybe it’s because I don’t like the feeling that I owe someone something. I have to get better on letting others help me and admitting that sometimes I do need help, and that’s okay.

3. Embracing vulnerability. This encompasses a lot of things. It’s something we all struggle with. No one likes to say “hey, look at me and my weaknesses.” We all like to see ourselves as strong individuals that can make it through anything. And that’s true, we are strong and we will get through the rough times in our lives. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy for us and that doesn’t mean that we are perfect. We’re all far from perfect. For me I see showing vulnerability as a strength. It’s hard! I hate having the not so perfect parts of me come to light and I hate it even more when I have to show others. Recently I’ve had to face a lot of my weaknesses and fears and lay them out before my peers. I’ve had to put myself out there in positions that I feel uncomfortable in because I’m super vulnerable in them. But I’m learning that by doing this, by embracing my imperfections and facing them head on, I’m able to grow and learn more about myself. I’m able to show the world that, yeah, I’m not perfect and that’s okay. I need help and that’s okay. We’re all on this journey to grow together. When we embrace vulnerability and put ourselves out there, we allow others to lift us up and to help us grow. This is definitely something I struggle with every day. Having weaknesses is okay. That just means that I’m human and I haven’t reached my full potential yet, that I still have room to grow.

4. Confrontation. This just doesn’t happen for me. I don’t know what it is about confrontation, but I’m just really bad at it. For me, it’s better if someone confronts me. Then I’m able to talk it out and say how I feel and whatnot. But confronting the person myself? Nuh uh, not gonna happen. It’s like pulling teeth for me. Painful and something I really don’t want to do often. So yeah, if I’m having a problem with someone it’s probably best if you just confront me because, honestly, I probably won’t confront you until it’s a little too late (if ever).

5. Being confident. This is probably going to be a long point because it has a back story and all. Okay. Well, if you didn’t know I was a dancer. From the age of three I began performing on stage and by age five I was competitive. If you can imagine, the dance world can be brutal on a little girl’s self image. If you’re not skinny or the “ideal” dance body you pretty much felt awful about yourself. Maybe this is just how I felt, I dunno. But I’m not the “ideal” dancer. I don’t have long legs, I’m not tall, and I’m not a twig. The idea that I wasn’t good enough was really hard to grow up with. I thought I wasn’t a good dancer because I didn’t fit this image and therefore my confidence was super low. It was a really hard mindset to grow up with. I hate to admit it, but I become obsessed with body image. I always saw myself as fat and not as skinny as the girl next to me. Comparisons are of the devil. Seriously, they are. Our Heavenly Father would never want us to see ourselves as less than anyone else because that is not how he sees us. He sees us all for what we can be and the potential we possess. He never has us compare ourselves to others; He only has us compare ourselves to who we were before and who we could be.

It’s taken me a while to realize this and I wish I would have realized this sooner in my life. By knowing this I now have the confidence to go out there and be happy with who I am, knowing that who I will be tomorrow is better than who I am right now. I am in no way completely confident with myself. In fact, I’m not all that confident at all. I’ve come a long way since my devastatingly low self-esteem I had during middle and high school. It’s been hard for me to shatter the mindsets that I’ve held with me for years. But I’m doing it, piece by piece. Slowly I’m able to see myself not as the world sees me, but as God sees me. And that, my friends, has made all of the difference.

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