30 Days: Day 6: Hardest Thing

What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

What a tough question. Obviously we all go through trials that make life hard. But to pick the most difficult one? It’s hard to say. Each have their difficulties for different reasons making it hard to pick just one.

I’d have to say one of the toughest times in my life thus far happened when my abuela had open heart surgery. It was after or during my mom’s health trials (which is another story entirely). Really things were just culminating which made it one of those dark times of life. This was a major surgery my abuela was undergoing, but things were expected to go fairly well. Only they didn’t. I don’t really remember all of the details because it all happened so fast and your family tends to water things down when your fifteen. The gist is that she wasn’t responding to the surgery well and had to be put into intensive care.  I know of at least one time where she was declared dead. This was really hard to deal with. My abuela has been such a key part of my life. When I was little and my parents worked I would go to her house and she would take care of me along with my titi. I remember her playing dolls with me, cooking for me, and sewing dresses for my Barbie’s. To see her in ICU, without the life in her eyes was hard and knowing that the doctor’s didn’t think she’d make it. It was also hard to visit her there. They had certain hours you could visit and restricted how many people were allowed in the room. Seeing her there in the bed not doing to well really put some things into perspective for me. I was taking her for granted, not realizing that one day she won’t be there. And that’s part of life. But no one wants their loved one to go this way. Then there was the matter of her feet. Blood wasn’t circulating to them so they began to die. The flesh was green and dead on her feet. If they were going to save her legs they would have to cut off her feet. Add that on top of everything and it seemed like to much. She would cry and say that she would never be able to walk again. Walking is something I don’t take for granted after having my ability to do so almost taken away from me. I understood where she was coming from. But I had prayed constantly to my Heavenly Father for comfort to endure this trial. And he blessed me with that comfort. I knew that when I told her she would walk again that I was telling her the truth. After months of the little trials of copping my aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was the third or so person in my family to have a major medical issue in a row. My faith was seriously tested at this time. If it weren’t for the Gospel and the love and comfort from my Heavenly Father I don’t know how I would have made it through. It was hard to have all of these things happen back to back and to watch the testimonies of the people I love and look up to struggle. I had to rely on my Heavenly Father through this time to help me get through it and to come out stronger. He blessed me so much during these trials though and I’m so grateful for it. My testimony of the power of pray grew exponentially along with the love I have for my family.

I’m happy to say that I’ve come out stronger from this trial, even though it wasn’t necessarily mine in the beginning. And I’m so very grateful for the Gospel in my life, the peace it brings me, and the love I feel from my Savior.

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